Becuase Everything Else Sucks

Newsflash: Kenneth Lay Has a Heart!

By Manila Ryce
Published Thursday, July 6th, 2006, 1:57 am
Filed under: Society/Culture, US Politics

Well, at least he DID have a heart. Now he’s dead. Enron founder, Kenneth Lay, died early Wednesday in Aspen, Colorado, of an apparent heart attack at 64. Lay was awaiting sentencing after he was earlier found guilty of conspiracy and fraud during the Enron trial in May. Unfortunately, he died before serving even one day of his sentence. Lay was born the son of a Baptist preacher, and grew up to become one of the most famous personifications of Greed today, the Conservative Christian’s favorite sin.

“Kenny Boy” was admitted to the Aspen Valley Hospital at 1:41 a.m. MT and was pronounced dead at 3:11 a.m. MT. On May 25th Lay was found guilty of 10 counts of fraud and conspiracy related to the collapse of Enron, the nation’s seventh largest company. He was close friends with Mr. George W. Bush. In fact, Enron was the single largest contributor to Bush’s political career. His death comes at a very convenient time. Conspiracy theorists of the world unite!

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3 Responses to “Newsflash: Kenneth Lay Has a Heart!”

  1. I’m actually more worried now. Couldn’t a man of such intelligence combined with such a dangerous lack of conscience be instumental in Satan’s plan to “aquire” the throne?

    PapaFigue
    07/9/06 at 10:20 pm

  2. […] A federal judge ruled Tuesday that the dammed soul of Enron founder, Kenneth Lay, was to be given a clean record. It was ruled that his death vacated his conviction on 10 counts of fraud, conspiracy, and lying to banks in two separate cases. This ruling now makes it more difficult for the government to seek $43.5 million from Lay’s estate. Lay’s attorneys argued that legal precedent called for his convictions to be erased and his indictment dismissed. They cited a 2004 ruling from the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals that found that a defendant’s death pending appeal invalidates his entire case because he hadn’t had a full opportunity to challenge the conviction and the government shouldn’t be able to punish a dead defendant or his estate. […]

    The Largest Minority » Blog Archive » Kenny Boy Now Has a Clean Record
    10/19/06 at 12:30 am

  3. […] Like Ken Lay’s untimely death, Augusto Pinochet’s recent lapse in health has shocked the medical community who once thought it was necessary to have a heart before you could have a heart attack. The former Chilean dictator was taken to the hospital to reopen his arteries Sunday. He is expected to remain under observation in the hospital for the next 10 days. Pinochet’s doctor said “the risk of death has been diminishing, however, it is still there”. […]

    The Largest Minority » Former Dictator Under Medical Observation
    12/5/06 at 2:21 am

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