By Manila Ryce
Published Monday, August 7th, 2006, 2:20 pm
Filed under: Science and Technology
In the future, telling your girlfriend she should be on “the pill” may have a different meaning. Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has been testing an “anti-stupidity” pill on mice and fruit flies. The pill is meant to stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness by hindering hyperactivity in certain brain cells. So far, the results have been encouraging.
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Sounds great! Uh oh, I’m having a psychic moment…
The new smart pill shall be abused by PS2 addicts who’ll break the record for number of days spent on game in a row. Girls will take the pill before going out to clubs, leading to a serious decline in sex for dudes with lines like: “Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?” (These guys comprise at least 60% of the male population in a bar or club setting.) And bible belt (suspender) families will pump their kids full of the shit before people realize that Staggering and Stifling Ignorance has nothing to do with Intelligence.
08/9/06 at 10:59 am