Becuase Everything Else Sucks

Pinoys in Despair. Government Deploys Hair

By Manila Ryce
Published Friday, September 1st, 2006, 1:21 pm
Filed under: World: Asia, Society/Culture: Law/Order, Environment, World Issues, Society/Culture

Over 15,000 prisoners in the Philippines are shaving their head and chest hairs to help clean up the country’s worst oil spill, affecting over 40,000 people and a 200km coastline. Tons of hair and feathers will be used to absorb the 520,000 gallons of fuel which leaked from a tanker when it sunk two weeks ago off the island of Guimaras. Two of its crewmen are still missing. The idea was conceived when a member of Greenpeace noted that hair has proven to be useful in experiments for oil cleanup.

Guimaras is known for its pristine beach resorts and marine reserves. Coast guards plan to put human hair and chicken feather in sacks tied to bamboo poles as barriers along affected village coastlines. Locals have been using sacks full of rice straw to contain the oil spill which has severely affected 46 villages already. Marine biologists actually say the straw is better at absorbing and degrading. Residents in certain parts of Guimaras have also been evacuated due to an unhealthy increase in air pollution. All across the Philippines, hair dressers, poultry farmers, rice farmers, and average individuals are donating absorbent materials to contain the spill.
source

4 Responses to “Pinoys in Despair. Government Deploys Hair”

  1. WOW… what else can you say about a story like this. It’s foolishness drove me to take the time comment: “WOW”. I have to admit though, there is small part of me that admires their old world fortitude. Sure science has other solutions, but they’ve prisoners with hair they don’t need… lets see who’s right. If these poor detainees suffer from cold heads, we can just put hairless chickens on their domes. Its a win-win situation.

  2. @matt
    actually, ducks would be better for filipino head warming. their eggs would provide some fresh balut.

  3. I spent 2 weeks in the Philippines once. And one thing I did take back with me was the scalp of a many a townsman.

    But seriously folks… How much hair are we talkin’ here? It’s not like the inmates were arrested for their hippy followings. Last time I looked, there weren’t too many Sik’s in jail over there either. I would very much like to see the data from these experiements:

    1). Where was the hair stored and how was it measured after it’s aquisition? In pounds? Piles?

    2). How much total hair was “recovered” for aid

    3). How much hair does it take to absorb 1 square inch of oil

  4. […] When Filipino prisoners aren’t mopping up oil spills with their hair, they’re doing their patriotic duty of reenacting “Thriller” with the prison tranny. We’re told that this display, put on by over 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, is just practice for the final production. The source is also clear that this is not a punishment. How could it be? […]

Leave a Reply

Tired of filing this information out everytime you leave a comment at the Largest Minority? Why not register as a user? You also get full access to our forum!

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>