My favorites have to be from Karl Marx, Groucho Marx, and Voltaire. Last words are your last shot at being cool. Of course the problem is that you have to get the timing just right. Let’s say you decide years in advance and come up with the perfect thing to say before you die. If you say them too soon you’ll just be waiting in silence to croak. It’d be like spending your last hours on Earth in detention. Conversely, if you wait till the last moment and say them too late your phrase will get cut off and your memory will be forever ruined.

Take Socrates’ last words for example. Socrates said, “Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius. Will you remember to pay the debt?” Granted, it’s not the coolest of last words, but it could’ve been much worse had Socrates died after the word “cock”. Then Plato and his pupils would ponder upon what Socrates meant when he said he owed a cock. The entire discipline of Philosophy would be split between those who believe it was some Hedonistic reference to his phallus, and those who believe it holds the key to the age-old “chicken or the egg” debate.

So now that we’re aware of the ramifications of poorly executed last words, does anyone here have any suggestions as to what theirs will be?

Famous Last Words