Bush is expected to unveil his long-awaited present to America next week, and most of us are as excited about it as a gift from Grandma… we already know it’s not going to be what we asked for. It’s like opening Shaq-Fu when what we actually wanted was Donkey Kong Country. The difference here is that we know Grandma at least tried to make us happy, and that however horrible her gift is, it will probably never bring about your imminent death or the death of a loved one. So where am I going with this nerdy holiday metaphor? Well, there’s still a slight chance that our parents in Congress will save the day by returning the gift for something tolerable.

We already know that a major part of Bush’s new Iraq strategy will be to escalate the war by adding about 9,000 additional troops to Baghdad alone. As we also know, Bush’s plans are always well thought-out, and have never failed before. As a precursor to sending more kids into the slaughterhouse, Bush has fired the military generals who’ve been against such troop increases and replaced them with bobble-head commanders who will agree with his new policy.

Before Bush has even officially announce his intentions, Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid wrote in a letter to the president, “We are well past the point of more troops for Iraq.” In a revolutionary tactic that Pelosi and Reid referred to as “listening to your constituents”, the two Democratic leaders urged Bush to begin pulling troops out in four to six months. Some Republican lawmakers also decided to do their job by listening to America. Republican Senator Susan Collins said, “My conclusion was that it would be a mistake to send more troops to Baghdad. I think the sectarian violence there requires a political, not a military, solution.” Despite the overwhelming pressure of reality, the president vaguely said he would only consider troop withdrawal as an option if the Iraqi government could offer certain guarantees.

Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards has called the plan for troop escalation “the McCain doctrine”, for the senator’s outspoken support of the increase. In a possible effort to distance himself from being associated with troop escalation, Republican Senator John McCain has begun to express doubt over the specifics of the strategy.

Senator McCain is now saying that he won’t support an escalation until he knows if the number of troops is high enough to win the war. The so-called “Maverick” and ex-Democrat Joseph Lieberman say a minimum of 10,500-192,500 troops need to be sent to Baghdad and an additional 3,500 sent to Anbar province. That astronomical increase would more than double the number of troops currently serving in Iraq. Knowing that such a large increase would be impossible, McCain is either giving himself an escape plan to justify a “flip-flop” in position, or is truly insane and actually does want twice the amount of death and violence. Your thoughts?

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