If there’s one thing we know about Colbert, it’s that he loves Bill O’Reilly twice as much as God and nearly as much as himself. If there’s one thing we know about O’Reilly, it’s that he’s a predatory man-eating Great White with an appetite for love deeper than the Pacific. Watch out Matthew McConaughey.

I don’t want to give away the punch line, so just watch the clip. You can bet O’Reilly isn’t going to be happy about this latest Colbert Report episode regarding their secret (especially if it’s true). Take a lesson in truthiness and let the rumors fly!