John Oliver uses the recent London flooding to illustrate what any “self-respecting western democracy” is suppose to do during a major catastrophe. Security, water, and shelter are top priorities. Thanks to England’s version of FEMA, even the darkies aren’t left to drown.

Still, with all the criticism of Bush for failing to act on Katrina, no one ever mentions that the evangelicals in his administration are looking towards preventative measures for the next big disaster. In fact, one of their allies across the pond has shared information that the recent floods in England are actually God’s punishment for allowing gays to have rights. The Bush administration’s denial of constitutional rights over here may eventually be what saves us from a flood of biblical proportions.

I personally think we can go a step further to turn this curse into a blessing. If gays are natural rainmakers, then we can put together an emergency task force of the biggest, most flaming homos to parachute into areas of the world suffering from drought. I say deploy “Operation: It’s Raining Men” and we might finally be greeted as sexual liberators.