Warmongering Mitt has 5 sons, each old enough to serve in the military. They push for more war, but insist that other people should be doing the fighting. However, the Romneys are not hypocrites or cowards. No, they’re doing their duty by committing themselves to Mitt’s campaign. If anything, I think our brave men and women in uniform owe these boys a debt of gratitude for sacrificing so much. We salute you.

Stewart summed it up nicely last night: “Who knows what kind of post-traumatic care these boys will need after the election? I guess the only good news is if something happens to four of the boys - you know, paper cut, confetti in the eye, that sort of thing - the fifth will be allowed to go home and just do phone bank.”