Republican Florida lawmaker Bob Allen was arrested for offering an undercover police officer 20 bucks if he let Allen perform oral sex on him. True to conservative hypocrisy, Allen has previously offered a bill outlawing lewd acts in public. In what is probably the worst defense imaginable, Allen then tacked on the stigma of being a racist to the charge of offering sexual acts to an undercover police officer. John Oliver joins Stewart to explain the uncontrollable urge white people have to blow someone they’re frightened of. That ought to answer the Machiavellian question of whether it’s better to be loved than feared.

Speaking of fellatio, Stewart recaps the Yearly Kos Convention, where followers of various political philosophies, ranging everywhere from the moderate center to the center-right, were able to gather without fear of being persecuted for their worship of the Democratic Party. Jon also covers the ABC Republican debate.

Stewart’s Money Quote: “So basically, Hillary Clinton’s point is, ‘Yes I take money from lobbyists because they’re real people with real needs. But don’t worry… I don’t listen to them.’”