Speaking from an alternate dimension where misinformation and hearsay are as credible as actual information, President Bush warned that a nuclear-armed Iran could lead to World War III. “We’ve got a leader in Iran who has announced that he wants to destroy Israel,” he said. “So I’ve told people that, if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing them from having the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon.” Aside from the obvious fact that prevention of such a war starts at home, it should be noted that this rationale is based on something Ahmadinejad never even said.

This declaration came a day after Russia took Iran’s side, opposing the use of Caspian Sea states to launch an attack against Iran. Russian President Vladimir Putin had a more reality-based position, resisting Western pressure to toughen his stance on Iran. Putin said that Tehran has no plans to develop nuclear weapons, and that Russia will continue building the country’s first atomic power plant. This was the first time a Kremlin chief has visited Iran since Stalin in 1943.

President Bush was dumbfounded by the fact that anyone would recognize Iran’s legitimate right to nuclear power. “The thing I’m interested in is whether or not he continues to harbor the same concerns that I do,” Bush said of Putin. “When we were in Australia (in September), he reconfirmed to me that he recognizes it’s not in the world’s interest for Iran to have the capacity to make a nuclear weapon.” Bush now wants a third round of UN sanctions against Iran.

On a related note, “Defense” Secretary Gates told the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs on Monday that the United States could not force Iran to give up its nuclear ambitions by itself. He then called Iran an “ambitious and fanatical theocracy,” and reiterated that “with this regime we must also keep all options on the table”. Yes, that actually happened. An official in the Bush administration warned a right-wing Zionist organization of the evils of theocracy as he made veiled references to a joint military campaign against a non-threatening nation.

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