Becuase Everything Else Sucks

Daniel O’Brien - “I Will No Longer Sleep With Tina Fey If She Asks Me To”

By Manila Ryce
Published Monday, March 24th, 2008, 7:18 pm
Filed under: Society/Culture: Sexuality, Entertainment, Society/Culture

Following Tina Fey’s shamelessly hollow and, more importantly, unfunny endorsement of Hillary Clinton on Saturday Night Live awhile back, I personally watched the boner stock I had invested in Tina’s geeky hotness take a dive the next morning. After this Reader’s Digest article came out, in which Fey took a shot at Jon Stewart, Daniel O’Brien of Cracked just couldn’t remain silent anymore. The following excerpt accurately portrays the frustration of many a heterosexual man after the devastating boner crash of 2008.

Here’s a tip ladies (that’s not what I meant), if you ever want to get a guy interested, please refrain from mentioning Hillary Clinton… ever. For guys, talking about Hillary with a woman we fancy is like sitting next to grandma at the strip club. Her name is an anti-Viagra neutron bomb destroying the appeal of everything within a hundred block radius.

O’Brien doesn’t have his grievances rooted in Fey’s support of Clinton, but in a few other examples which show Tina’s head is getting a bit too big for her glasses. The only part in which I think O’Brien is alone in his denunciation is that I’m pretty sure every guy who wanted to sleep with Tina Fey before the great Pecker Plague swept America probably still would on account of being guys.

As aggravated as I was to hear Tina disregarding the entire history of male comedy as juvenile, robot-obsessed frat humor, I could forgive her, because she’s a very passionate and outspoken woman, and I think it would be neat to see her naked. But then she went on to commit a most grievous sin. In the interview, Fey very subtly and very briefly calls out one Jon Stewart:

“RD: What pleases you more, applause or laughter?

Fey: Laughter. You can prompt applause with a sign. My friend, SNL writer Seth Meyers, coined the term clapter, which is when you do a political joke and people go, “Woo-hoo.” It means they sort of approve but didn’t really like it that much. You hear a lot of that on [whispers] The Daily Show.”

You thought you could outsmart us by whispering, Tina Fey, but guess what: Reader’s Digest is a magazine. (With words.) Do you have a problem with The Daily Show, Tina Fey? Do you think you’re better than The Daily Show, or that you’re funnier than Jon Stewart? I never thought I’d reach a point in my life where I’d need to choose sides in a Fey-Stewart Feud, (especially one that I’m almost entirely creating), but I can say without a doubt that I choose Stewart. The Daily Show has had some weak spots, but I am fucking thrilled that Stewart is, consciously or not, the unofficial spokesman for my generation. He’s our guy, Tina. First you shit on male comics for not being as attuned to the minutia of human behavior as female comedians (Lisa Lampanelli?), and then you’re dissing The Daily Show? Please pull your head out of your finely-toned ass long enough to hear me tell you how much sex we’re not going to have.

Loads.

Read the entire article here

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7 Responses to “Daniel O’Brien - “I Will No Longer Sleep With Tina Fey If She Asks Me To””

  1. Thanks for the mention, Sir. And, for clarification, I was pretty ticked about her pointless Clinton endorsement. Really ticked. If it was supposed to be funny, well, it wasn’t. And if it was supposed to be a genuine endorsement, it didn’t really provide a single reason to vote for Clinton.
    I just decided against mentioning it. The post was running on the long side. Also, I didn’t want to run the risk of Tina Fey’s strange turn from hilarious writer/comic actress to man-hating, preachy sex queen to get overshadowed by a political debate, (which, inevitably, would happen). There’s a place for politics and it is certainly not the Cracked blog.

    Daniel O'Brien
    03/24/08 at 9:08 pm

  2. No problem Daniel, your articles are always enlightening and hilarious. You made the right decision though in not getting too political for this one. I’d stay away from politics too if I were smart, but I enjoy pissing people off too much. Keep ‘em coming.

    Manila Ryce
    03/25/08 at 2:19 am

  3. The first time I ever even heard of her was a YouTube clip endorsing Clinton on the show. So, I was immediately turned off by her (she is modestly hot, until she says something). Granted, I watch very little TV and Sat Night Live died about 20 years ago, so I am not sure what that Frankenstein is every Sat Night, anyway.

    But for her to even remotely compare herself to The Daily Show is giving herself way too much credit. The comparison makes her look quite stupid.

    BuelahMan
    03/25/08 at 4:16 am

  4. FYI, Saturday Night Live news isn’t real. Thanks for the dick jokes, though.

    Bill
    03/25/08 at 6:53 am

  5. @BuelahMan
    She’s usually pretty likable, which is what makes her recent stupidity such a let down.

    @Bill
    Thanks. I was quite proud myself. It’s not too often that I get to use the words boner and pecker.

    Manila Ryce
    03/25/08 at 9:04 am

  6. I’m not so sure she meant it as a poke at the Daily Show so much as she meant it is an admission of the difficulty in doing political humor. Obviously with the Daily Show being daily, it’s inevitable that you’re going to land some stinkers, though I think Stewart pulls off the awkwardness of a misfire with aplomb. You’ll see plenty of “clapter” in the Weekend Update and Bill Maher’s show too, even though they’re shown weekly instead of daily. I even remember Maher talking about this subject before too, specifically when he was discussing the difference between doing a daily show (Politically Incorrect) and a weekly one (Real Time). He said writing for a daily show often amounted to he and his writers just throwing stuff out there and seeing if it sticks. With a weekly show, there’s more chance for filtering and refining.

    Before anyone labels me a Tina Fey apologist, let me assure you: I’m not. I’ve never watched 30 Rock (or whatever it’s called), and I stopped watching SNL long before she got there. I agree that her endorsement of Clinton rightly deserves all the criticism it has received, though I’ll admit, as a white male, I can’t really blame any women for wanting the symbolic victory, just as I can’t blame a black person for wanting the same with their respective candidate.

    Let’s be honest: it’s an election; it’s practically meaningless with regard to achieving true social progress. Emma Goldman once said that if voting changed anything, it would be outlawed it. With this in my mind, I have a hard time getting all worked up about any particular pop-culture figure’s endorsement, let alone Fey.

    Sam
    03/25/08 at 5:15 pm

  7. Wow — she looks BOMB in that picture!!! Whatdya say Manila — can we get more shots of chicks in short skirts and stockings?

    yazo
    03/26/08 at 8:22 pm

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