March 6th, 2008 by Manila Ryce
Since we have a brief intermission before Israel steps up its campaign once more to murder Palestinians in the world’s largest concentration camp, I thought I’d take this opportunity to catch everyone up on what’s been going on in South America. The following information comes mostly from BoRev. Give them a visit.
Colombian President Alvaro Uribe, an authoritarian US-ally (as if there is any other kind), was temporarily under the impression that his country was the USA itself and decided to invade Ecuador to extradjudicially kill 20 sleeping FARC rebels. FARC’s top diplomat, who was negotiating hostage releases with Venezuela, France, Switzerland and Spain, was killed in the attack.
Ecuador and Venezuela, who both share a border with Colombia, broke off their diplomatic relations with the country on account of this dickery and moved troops to their borders in order to protect their national sovereignty. Never failing to present false information, the American corporate media immediately used the troop movement along the border to claim that Chavez wants war with a US-ally.
The Colombian government then emulated the US government once again by completely making shit up. They claimed to have found the laptop of a senior FARC member which conveniently incriminated both Venezuela and Ecuador in FARC dealings and that the group had even bought and sold uranium to take “big steps in the world of terrorism to become a global aggressor”. Sound familiar? There are so many damn terrorists in this world and they’re all seeking uranium.
Colombian President Uribe then took a lesson from our House, which called on the UN Security Council to punish the Iranian president for violating international genocide laws, by insisting that the International Criminal Court bring charges of financing “genocide” against Hugo Chavez for supposedly backing the FARC rebels that Colombia went into Ecuador to kill. Uribe is a busy man, so it’s understandable that he forgot to give any evidence, details, or proof to support his claims.
After awhile, Colombia’s accusations even began to sound like bullshit to the US. Now that’s irony. US officials said Colombia’s claim that FARC was seeking uranium should be treated with extreme skepticism, and requested to review the supposed laptop with all this wonderfully incriminating evidence on it. As for the FARC attack inside Ecuador, which started this whole mess, the US has still refused to confirm or deny its participation in the raid (which means we were heavily involved). It’s been known that the US provides the Colombian military with satellite intelligence and communications to locate FARC, as well as $5 billion (with a B) since the year 2000.
Despite the common knowledge of illegal US ties with Colombia, their joint assassination operations, and Colombia’s invasion of Ecuador, it’s President Chavez who is once again being painted as the bad guy for recently calling the Colombian operation on Ecuadorian soil a “war crime”. It’s true of course, but how dare he say it.
Diplomatic relations and hostage negotiations are all fucked up now, and somehow it’s gotta be all Chavez’s fault. Go get the bastard Keith. Make Murrow proud. Wait, did I say Murrow? I meant ExxonMobil.